| 06 July 2010
Dear Yana,
Yesterday I noticed a lesbian in my local park. I know she was a lesbian by the way she was dressed and her hairstyle, which looked like ‘Ellen’. I was there with my children and I felt uncomfortable with her there, as she was looking in our direction often. I think people like that should not be allowed to sit in parks, as it’s dangerous for children. Don’t you agree?
Beatrice Backward
It’s difficult for some people to understand the distinction between a homosexual and a paedophile. Let me educate you: a homosexual is a man or woman who is attracted to the same sex.
A paedophile is a man or woman who is attracted to children, the two are completely different, but it’s a common mistake for Catholics and Andrew Bolt in particular. When it comes to the so-called lesbian in the park, how did you know she kept looking your way? Was it because you were looking at her to see if she was looking at you? Did you ever stop to think that the ‘lesbian’ could have been looking at you, to see if you were looking at her?
I imagine she felt quite awkward, considering you were watching her every move. And Beatrice, how did you know for a fact that she was a lesbian? There are a lot of women with haircuts like Ellen these days; in fact, half of the white female middle class world wants to either look like Ellen or fuck Ellen.
I can only assume that you are one of the latter if you were spending your whole afternoon in the park staring at another woman. Perhaps you should spend more time looking after your children, or they could be in danger of something more than a lesbian paedophile – like falling off a swing.
Dear Yana,
I read the Jason Akermanis article recently and I couldn’t agree with him more. Homosexuals should not out themselves in the AFL, as it will not only make it difficult for the man in question, but for the whole team.
Rachel Wrong
I too read his article, I think it should have been titled ‘I’m not a homophobe but…’ My guess is that Jason Akermanis is a big raging homo.
He’s clearly spent a lot of time trying to get into the mind of a gay man; time that he could have spent, like some other footballers, fantasising about group sex with a minor.
Jason is flattering himself if he thinks that all the gay men he’s shared a shower with are wishing they could get between his hairy white cheeks. He has the intelligence of a wardrobe, if only he would ‘come out’ of it. As far as I’m concerned, a pat on a bare arse in a shower is only one finger away from a goal.
There is more homoerotic energy in the locker room at an AFL Grand Final than in the entire Mardi Gras. Let’s be honest, who cares who fucks who, really it’s no one’s business. But at the end of the day, a gay man should feel comfortable to be out in any circumstance.
My message to all gay footballers is better known as the chant of the Good Witch of the North from The Wizard of Oz: ‘Come out, come out, wherever you are!’
Yana Alana
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